Unlucky day :(

SSigh . Really unlucky day for me . Driving half way car got scratch . On the tayar ring . Luckily there's ntg happened . Reach home , home was just a mess ! jeanjean came out and ruin the house . Wtf . need to clean up all . SIGH !! Well , I thought thats all . I viewed his profile , i saw all the tagged photos have been removed . Unlucky day for me . :((
I feel so depressed right now . And yet , suppose to meet up with soongyi tmr . Seesee she asked me to go with jason =.=
All messed up ! OMFG ! Fml pls !! 
I need someone to talk to :((

Cooking.

It's time for me to show my skill :P COOKING !! Hmm . Enjoyed eating with my sis and bro . Yummiess ,

After defrost *Im going to cook ya* :)

Tadaaaa ! DONE ! Although doesn't look nice but DELICIOUS <3

Should be served with a glass of coke . Owhh . Thats too satisfying <3

Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing

Sushi.moments.

Yummy . yummy :))

My favourite ebiko <33

Chuka chinmi :)

Well , enjoyed sushi with sis today . Nah . We ate lot of course . Only two of us there . I know that , no matter what , i must be strong always . Enjoy my life since im in this world . <3>

Weird.feelings.suddenly.appear.

Suddenly feel weird . Dont know why . Its okay . Forget bout the past . Hmm.
Im hungry . Omg . I need food ! LOL .

Final.ending.

We're officially broke up on the 3rdof july . I didnt know we will end up like that . Its really really sad for me . I cried for non stop .I really do miss him . What can i do ? He dont have any feeelings towards me anymore . And well i cant force him to love me also wert . Really had a hard times last night . I thought i come back still can hold back our relationship . I guess this is what god gave me for what i've done . Seriously . He told him i wont cry d . But its really hard , I will concentrate in my study . No more love life . SIGH , Im sad . Dont know he got the same feelings or not . I dont know how to explain to mummy that i alredy broke up with him . Even my aunties all know him d . I really dont know how am i gonna face it . If there's a chance ,i really hope to change my personality , change to be a better one next time . I will try my best to do so . Hope he can find a better one next time . Really headache right now . Haihss .

i.will.always.love.you.

Hmmm . Finally ,he willing to tell the truth . I know he's been thinking alot this few days .
That's why i got abit weird feelings too . But this time i will seriously respect him . I wont force him to love me anymore if he really dont . I wish that i could turn back the time but i know its impossible . Maybe this is what i should get from i did .
No matter what decision he made , i will respect him . :)
Its quite hard for me but i cant force someone to love me . But i really hope that he'll always be by my side to care me , love me .
Its useless for what im saying now . Maybe its my prob for dont know how to appreciate my loves one . I will wait for his answer .
i wont be that silly and zhap ziok anymore . But no matter how .
I still will wait . For his exact answer . Wait for him to care me back . And love me till the last breathe of my life ,
I will always love you david khoo . <3 I wish to get a positive reply from you . -karyan-

Believe.in.true.love?

i wish the feeling could come back..

i believe that i can.. if i want

7:34pmMe

but you didnt .

im trying too .

i feel that this few days you seems like dont wanna talk to me .

i dont know is it because of distance prob or what .

Are you free now ?

7:35pmDavid

yeah

7:36pmMe

come and find me and we'll have a nice talk

7:36pmDavid

i prefer to talk here..

i dont dare to face u

7:36pmMe

why ?

im your girl wert

7:37pmDavid

i dont know what should i do.

7:37pmMe

you got anything to tell me ?

7:37pmDavid

i need sometimes..

7:37pmMe

sometimes ?

7:38pmDavid

yeah..

7:38pmMe

can i ask you smtg ?

7:38pmDavid

u may

7:39pmMe

did you treat me as your gf since the day we argued?

7:39pmDavid

i did.. and i tried

7:39pmMe

okay .

and now .

do you still love me ?

yes or no

7:40pmDavid

i really dont know..

7:41pmMe

can you come and find me now ?

i guess we really need to talk .

7:42pmDavid

pls dont forced me to answer either yes or no..

7:42pmMe

i didnt .

7:42pmDavid

i know..

i just telling u

7:42pmMe

i just want you to come and find me and we'll talk bout this .

7:42pmDavid

i really need sometimes to think probably

7:43pmMe

you may .

7:44pmDavid

i dont hope to make a wrong decision..

7:44pmMe

By right i just hope you to come and find me .

i understand .

7:45pmDavid

i dont dare to faced u

7:45pmMe

Why not ?

7:45pmDavid

i dont know how to tell u

its really complicated to me

7:45pmMe

Did i do anything offending you ?

7:45pmDavid

nope..

its my problem..

i really need sometimes to think probably

7:46pmMe

Did i do anything wrong again ?

7:47pmMe

Im so sorry if i do so .

Im so sorry if i do so .

i really want you to come and find me at least awhile .

im afraid i cant see you anymore after this .

:(

what ever decision you made , i'll respect

but just hope you see you once .

7:48pmDavid

i will find you

but not now..

pls..

gimme sometimes..

7:49pmMe

okay .

7:49pmDavid

i didnt mean to let u cry ~

i am sry ~~

7:50pmMe

i didnt :)

7:50pmDavid

i've been think for long long time....

7:50pmMe

I know im not good enough for you .

Its okay .

7:50pmDavid

i dont wanna cheat you..

7:50pmMe

what you cheat me ?

7:50pmDavid

but ~ i dont wanna hurt u too

i really dont know what to do now..

7:51pmMe

i understand .

What did you cheat me anyway ?

7:54pmDavid

i didnt mean that i cheated on u

i mean that.. i dont wanna cheat u

7:55pmMe

Oh.

whatever decision you made , as long as you're happy,i'll be too .

:)

7:58pmDavid

i dont wanna lie to you.. when i'm not really confirm what i want.. \ i dont wanna u to b hurt.. if u know that l'm lie to you.. thats why everytimes we chat on phone.. i am scared to give u any promises..

7:59pmMe

I understand .

take your time .

7:59pmDavid

give me sometimes.. to think.. and i will give u an answer for my lifetimes..

u know what...

i am crying like panda now.. i'm sry for that..

8:00pmMe

its okay :)

8:00pmDavid

i really didnt mean to hurt you~~

i am sry ~~~~~~

8:00pmMe

I shoudn't force you from the start .

:)

Take your time to think whether you still need me or not .

i wont force you k :)

8:01pmDavid

i wanna sleep for awhile..

txt u later..

8:02pmMe

okay .

sweetdreams

For your info ,

i will wait for you to give me an exact answer .

:)

Love you always .

A.day.to.remember.

It was a memorable day to me . Went out with siewlee . And well of course we went to half hill and enjoy steamboat .Nah . Wont forget bout this , we walked from skyway to have our so called breakfast . That was totally awesome ! Tired though . OMG . HAHA . Really enjoy today . took lotsa pichass . :)

<3

Why.sudd.friday.appear ?

Im quite confuse now . I dont know why now sudd i dont feel like leaving d :(
I miss my friends here badly . Really . And friday suddenly appear . SIGH . Should i say this crush ? Hmmm.
This few days friday really makes me happy . Jokes that he made really laugh my ass off. I thought today friday will help me take my form . At least have a try . Unfortunately , he didnt receive any msg at all . Why at this critical time he didnt receive ?
Yesterday i feel really happy . Through what friday said to me . OMG . Why friday dont tell me earlier and ask me earlier .
Im so confuse . I dont know how . SWT ! Yday . i went out from my room to first world watch movie .
The fat bitch sudd appear infront of me . I was like wtf !! Why wo . Keep on apologise to me and ask me to forgive her .
I hate her seriously.
Then friday appear and save me away . I was so happy . I dont know why . Then the fat bitch say im a shit , say im cheap 'ching'.
DIU . Like i will care what she say . See la . One day . Dont ever want me to forgive her . I already promise myself that i wont ! Fucking hate her like hell . Damn it .

Moments.of.moment

This few days , im feeling better . Because of friday . Hmmm . well . Last night attended mr eng's farewell party . He cried so do other colleagues . Omg . Why like that ? Today i absent again . Cause feeling tired and lazy . HAHA . *ALWAYS*
Sang alot of songs with margeret . She's really a nice friend and a nice woman . :)
Friendly enough with a sweet adorable voice . Impressive ! Anyway,two more days being here . AIKSS. Really fast !!
Supposing today going out to theme park . But i guess friday still sleeping like a pig . Its okay as well . CAuse rainning . LOL!
Mr eng keeps on ask me to go out . Accompany him . But i really dont fell like going out with him at all .
This morning ,he still ask me to accompany him to get mc . Not i dont want ,
I really dont wanna attach him so much . What's the feeling when a guy cry infront of you ? REALLY WTF LO .
AIyooO . Dont know how to say . Ppl's here really weird . Why he like that one . I got my darling d . And i only love my babydavid . Why he just cant give up ? AIkss .

Argument.

I guess that i really shouldn't be friends with her . She's totally insane ! Weird . Seriously i hate her much right now . Why she just want to be like that . Im frustrated enough with her . Hate her like damn shit ! And yea . I told myself i wont talk to her anymore this time . Pissed off . DAMN!! She just like to ruin my day . One day dont know want to send how many msg to me. Why wo . When i didnt reply , she just will reply herself . Why wo she ? Deng !

Damn dulan ge lo . Then sudd sudd why fattin d. Grrrr. Damn regret for knowing her . Hate lesbians . YUCKS!! Nah nah . She wont be in my friend list anymore . Its not that im arrogant . But its all her fault . I really dont know why there's a human like that . Totally weird . I really want to leave genting ASAP ! Because of her , my life here were seriously miserable . Always make me feel uneasy at all . WTF la . ISHHH ! Anyway , I promise myself wont talk to her anymore . She can treat that im bad but i dont fucking care ! GRRR . piece of shit ! i dont want to hear any bullshit from her anymore . Thats enough ! Really do !

Final.decision.

Finally. I've choose to resign . Back to ipoh study and enjoy my life there . Spent more time
with my darling . Although there's alot of memories here, but i know one day i must leave all my friends here . There's too many stuff happened within my life here . Well, i've learn alot and gain alot of knowledge . Working doesn't sounds easy. And money are hard to earn . Hmmm.
I miss here actually . But i've hand up my resign form . So,i've made this decision and i shouldn't regret anymore . Sis getting marry this fri . So,i'll be taking mc . And off to ipoh later .
Well Well Well. I should have the final countdown . 12 more days to . minus my 3 days off . I guess i dont have much time here d . I got to back ipoh . What to do . Staying here sometimes make me feel lonely . My darling is not with me . Sometimes even feel unhappy . Friendship prob . SIGH . Hard to explain everything here . i really have been through alot ! Really do .
i miss here seriously . Remind me of first time ,first day being here . Urge to go back . But now . Im used to the environment here . Hmmm. Its quite sad for me thou . Anyway , all the best to all my colleagues . Thanks for everything . <3

Speechless.

I just told him that i'll be coming back next week .
But what i can feel is , he doesn't have any happy response . Why ?
He dont want me to come back huh ?
I feel weird . SIGH . 3 more days will be our anniversary . Guess he wont give a damn .'
I just want him to treat me nicely .However , i cant feel that im important to him.
I feel insecure . :(
What can i do ?

Enjoyable.day.at.penang

We went to penang and have a nice trip there . I bought him a bonia wallet . :))
Shopping at queensbay mall . I really enjoyed and happy . Holding his hand walk around the
shopping centre . Get into every shop .
After that we went for seafood for our dinner . 4 dishes 3 rice . Hmmm.
And we start our journey back to ipoh . I feel so happy .
that was our joyful moments . Love you david khoo . Muacksss <3

Why.he's.treating.like.that?

Im sad . Hurt . Why i cant even ask a ques that i want to know ?
He change alot . He said he wont stand for me anymore . WHY ?
Why can say break up easily to me ? Im really really hurt . Im trying to talk to him nicely
and he's the one admit he scold me . He's personality is like that. Why he keep on treating me like that ?
I dont know who to talk to . And i just need to keep it in my heart everyday . Its really hard for me .
I wish to work hard tgt . but he just want to treat me like that . Am i that useless .?
I dont know i still need to cry for how many times . If he really dont want me anymore ,im okay .
I should respect him . I already burden him too much .
I would like to say sorry .

Is.it.true.or just.wasting.time.

I dont know whats happening between us .
Sometimes i feel that he's just forcing himself to be with me . Sigh . What should i do ?
When i angry , he will be mad too . Why cant he just try to tolerate with me ?
But i should believe in myself . I really dont know he still love me that much or not .
Or he just entertain me . I really wanna know .
Im so sad that just know his mum told me that his bro coming along .
Means he's not coming to find me . I guess he also know bout that d . But he dont want to tell me .
Suppose he shouldn't tell me last time that he will try to come .
And now im really disappointed .:/
I want him to treat me the best one . But i cant feel it . :((((
Thats really sad . HAIHSS .
He knows im mad . But why cant he try to text me or anything telling me that he cant come or
apologise at least will make me feel better ?
I dont know why he just can ignore me . Sleep and act nothing the next day .
I want to see more from him .
Pity me <3

Our.anniversary.

Today is our 1 year and 2 months anniversary . I thought he will forget bout it .
But its ok . I woke up early to see his msg . But i feel abit disappointed because he just send
me a typical simple msg . I wish to see more from him .
I told him . And he end up sending a cute sweet msg to me . Although thats just a msg ,but i feel
so happy with it .
I miss him so so much . 18 more days to go . <3
This time i cant celebrate our anniversary with him . :(
But thats enough for me to be with him . Love you so much my fatty gong gong . Muacks <3

Promised.to.change.

After i know everything , i noticed that he actually thought of making the same decision as mine .
But once i voice out , i feel that i cant do it . He's everything to me .I cant bear to lose him anymore .
And he urged to give up . Cause he's suffering as well . However , i cant respect his decision and
we finally gave each other a chance . To be better , to change . And i promised i will change !
I wont treat him like last time anymore . I wont scold him for ntg anymore .
I feel so guilty . :((
And he explain everything to me . For my own good . I know .
I must be tough ! I cant be so weak anymore ! I love him so much .
I dont want to lose such a good bf . Hugs . Love you so much david . <3

Im.the.worst.one.ever.

I dont understand why he's treating me like that . Maybe its my own problem .

The way he talked to me really hurt . Im so so so upset .WHY ?

Im the worst gf ever to him . He told me that im the one who made him like that .

Im hot-tempered . I really want to share with him but i know what kind of reaction he will reply .

Always end up with arguments .

Sigh . I really cant feel that im important to him . When im sad , he dont even call me or send me a

msg at least can make me feel better . he just dont give a damn . Hard for me to describe those feelings .

Should i give up on him so that he wont feel stress because of me ? I think i should .

I dont want to see him suffer for a worst gf . I rather end up with him . Cause im not deserve to

be with him .

I'll talk to him later . To END our relationship . <3

Ipoh.really.hot.

Finally im home . The weather here damn hot hot hot!! OMFG . Hmmm . Althought i reached my hometown .
But i feel uncomfortable . Maybe because of the stupid weather . Sweating ==
LOL . I miss david so so much le . That day he cooked maggi mee for me :D
So yummy :)
Credits for my darling :DDD
Hugs . Yday,he told me ,'You know why i dont buy a ring for you ?'
I answered : NO.
"its because once i buy you a ring,i must responsible for everything"
Now only i understand why :)
I like his answer . But ,i will wait for him .Nah . He too :PP
<3

Terrible.

Didnt work today . Sigh . Absent . Last night was the most terrible night . :(
Haihss . I feel guilty . Its all my own fault actually . I shouldn't do that .
Nah , got to see IRO tomorrow or maybe the day after . Shit la . Going back ipoh this
sat :)

Everything.seems.so.fast.

There's only left 9 more days . Really fast . Hmmm . I dont feel like leaving d .
I miss everyone here . All my colleague , my friends , and memories . Im still wondering
that i should extend or not . Haihss . Time passes really fast . Really !
I dont plan to study first . But if i back ipoh d , i can meet my darling everyday .
But once i leave here , everything will just flow away .:(
So fast my contract gonna end d :/
Previously,i keep on thought of how can i stand for 3 months contract ?
But now . Only left one week two days . Freaking fast . LOL .
But i enjoyed staying here as well . Nice weather . At least i no need to sweat . Haha .
I miss my david so so so much . Hugss . What should i do again ? <3

Fucking.mad.

Damn mm song now . Sigh . Why he always cant do anything just for me .
Why is he so boring ? Haihss . Sometimes i even think that i should go back or not ?
Although life here are boring . hmmm . Why am i always being threaten like that ?
Countdown for what . He's telling me 12 more days ..
SO WHAT !!?
I go back also still the same . Ntg much will do .
Boring just boring . Nah . Within this two weeks , i will just hang out till i satisfy before i leave here .
Hmmm .Just very dulan la . HAIHS . *fucked up* <3

Shared.with.you. :)

I enjoyed sharing my stories with my roommate . She's really a nice person to talk to .

Although she's elder , but she'd understanding . I feel released and happy . Hee .:D

But too bad got to work d . :(

Hmmm . Continue later ..

15 more days :))))

Miss my darling so so so much !! <3

Nine.hours.for.today.

Got to work for 9 hours today . Swt . Yday OT for 3 hours . :(

Sighhh . But its ok le . Since my also gonna end soon .

Well,next week might going kl to meet cheryl :D

Wheee~

Hmmm. Stop here le . And 16 more days :PP

*Didnt update yday*<3

Nothing.much.for.today.

Hmm . Having kfc zinger burger just now .
But not that nice as mcd's spicy chicken mcdeluxe .Not that enjoyed .
Got to work soon . So lazyyy . Arghhhh .
Nah,18 more daysss . Woohoo !! :D
<3

Hmmm.

Feeling tired and sleepy are always with me . I really feel bored here sometimes .
Haihss . I really want to leave here asap . My mind had changed . I dont want to be here anymore.
I rather back to my hometown , enjoy my life . Hee :D
Well , just need to stand for 19 more days . WHEE !! XD
<3

Happy.working.

Enjoyed working . First day working in international room . Although there's ntg much diffrent than

GGA , but i just feel nice being there . Hmm . Customers are not as complicated as gga.

Hmmm. Nah . once i swipe my id . *IR PN 2*

I was like..

Is it real ? LOL . Quite happy actually . :D

Anyway still continue with my countdown :PP

21 days which is 3 weeks only !! YAY . <3

Tired.

Im at genting d . Just finish my job . Tired and sleepy. Yet im still hungry :P
LOL. Today when i was dealing , one fat aunty very disgusting . Wtf . She korek her nose non
stop . And i was like... Deng ! Nah . Touching those chips all . Arghhh ! really geli .
Im in my room d . Just finish my food . HAHA .
I miss my honey so much . Haihss . Its ok! I got to wait for 23 more days .
Im gonna countdown myself . Well . I feel so boring here . Friends,roommates all leaving d .
Left me . *alone* Hmmm . Everyday got to work at 8pm . Omg . Thats freaking boring lo .
Got to sleep soon . Nights . <3

Anniversary.

Hee . I almost forget today is our anniversary :P
He called me and wish me . Then i noticed i've forgotten . LOL .
Hmmm . Anyway happy anniversary my darling . Hugss . Love you to the max .
Muackss <3

Moments.of.love.

Well,well,well,
We're back to normal . Nah . Used to it actually . HAHAHA . However im going
back to genting tomorrow d . Sigh . Damn mm seh dak him .
I wish i could stay here longer . Hmmmm . But its ok that im coming back next month
and im gonna quit my job ! :D
Although my life sometimes was so miserable,but i still miss my family,my friends,and my darling as well
Hee . I went out with him today .
Went fot movie 'clash of titans' .That show was pretty awesome , but the moments with him was totally
BRILLIANT !! :DDDD
I miss him so much .Sometimes i really feel bad for scolding him . But i will just try my best not to do
that . I'll change .:)
After some arguments,i can feel back his love . SWEET ! HAHA . :P
I love you much my fatty . hugss .

Im.so.disappointed.

Haihs . Why is he treating me like that ?
He told me that he's gonna watch movie with me .
I know he's tired . But at least you let me know that you are tired and we watch
tmr or whatever . WTF . Im so so so upset when he's telling me that he's lazy to come out
with me . You know how i feel huh ? :((
The feeling is like im not important to him and he doesnt want to spent time
with me since im back .
Previously,he keep on telling me that i always accompany my friends.
But now im BACK !! And look what he did to me ! Im so disappointed . I really do .
I was so happy and excited to meet him in the afternoon but he just gave me such expression .
*SOBS*
I dont know how long i can continue with all this . Thats fucking irritating .
haihsss . I suppose to go to his house for movie , but now im facing my lappie and share everything here. Im so bored . I just wish he can accompany me more since im back .
Eventhough he knows im angry ,but he doesnt seem want to care . If compare to last time ,
he will keep on calling me and at least make me happy .
Now ? I just sit there and wait for his call or msg . Im frustrated seriously .
I can feel that he just dont appreciate me like last time d .
If he really want to end up like that then let it be . I got ntg to say anymore . Im freaking fucked up!
SIGH <3

About.the.past

Hmmm. Just reach home . Miss my lovely family and my baby jean .
Afternoon i went out with my friends.
i dye my hair,enjoy sushi and buying stuff. Quite happy .
At night,I went out for dont know what dinner with him and his family . I doesnt feels good there.
I just dont know why , keep reminds me bout the past . The photo i saw last time . *Secret*
Haihsss . I feel that they ignored me . And 'she' just trying to be good . Wtf la . DAMN !
Please lo . But i wont give a damn la .
i was sitting there like a bored worm . Texting,thinking,and toilet-ing. *LOL*
Boring . Wanted to go home badly . But i know i must respect them as well . When i reach his house,
i quickly pack my stuff . But then sudd thought of smtg . I mean bout what he said to me :(
I just cant forget it . HAIHSSS!!
I tell him bout that,but he just tell me that i dont care for him but i did :((((
Sigh . He hugged me tightly , i feel so comfortable and i know i cant bear to lose him .
Sometimes, although he's quite cocky but i love him so much . I mean you DAVID KHOO !
<3

Happy.and.bored

As usual,i will stay in the room waiting for him to come back .
And well, he get me popcorn chicken . Yummyy ! The moment when im in the room alone,i feel bored . And started to think about the past , Hmm . Sad thou .
:(
Back to the topic,
After that we thought of going for a movie but refuse to .
End up bought some clothes and back home .
I just want something more interested . If not i'll fell boring .
Now ,just face my lappie and online .
Swt la . I want something more . I dont want to feel so bored .
Grrr . Sometimes i feel thats better for me not to stay here . I want to
have my own life . Should i ?
<3

First.post.

Firstly,i wish that i can share everything here :)
Hmmmm . Currently im woking in genting casino and well of course i get to know alot
of friends . But they're leaving one by one . Sigh . And yet im still working till the end of the
contract . Billions of memories are in my minds . Those happy,sweet,enjoy,sad,and alot more as well .
Im been in genting for almost 3 months d . Sometimes will feel boring but sometimes will feel busy .
Weird . ==
However,everything seem goes wrong . I dont know why . Just those awful feelings .
I've change ! ALOT ! Sigh . I dont know what should i do . HAIHSS :(